Joan of the Grey Bungalow
by The Mr. President
Summary: A modern retelling of Anne of Green Gables although lots of alterations. Story is in beginning stages all reviews would be hugely appreciated.


The characters are different but the main character is a bit Anne-esque, if you can understand what I mean. The story is in it preliminary stages so if you think it is awful please tell me (in a nice way if you can). On the other hand, if it is worth continuing please tell me! Also, if you think this story is too different to the original to be called a fan fiction please tell me.

This chapter is actually two chapters combined. Hope you enjoy!

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CHAPTER 1 

_Gazing into the mirror, Taralynthia looked at the face staring back at her._

"Your name is not Taralynthia."

"But it could be." Came the indignant reply.

"Your name is Joan."

"But Taralynthia is so much more of an intriguing name!" Joan protested.

"I have never heard a bizarre name in my life."

"FINE! I'll change it. But really Lilly, you could be a bit more supportive to a budding writer such as myself."

_Gazing into the mirror, Joan looked at the face staring back at her. Her startling emerald green eyes stared back at her. Her red hair smouldered in the morning sun and trailed down her back in luscious curls. Her complexion for as pure as snow, and in fact made snow seem like more of a dull kind of beige. Her skin was undoubtedly flawless._

"Firstly, your eyes are grey. Not green. And your hair is light brown. And your skin is never pale, more of a rosy-cheeked red. And there are some spots around your nose. And your chin. So I definitely wouldn't say your skin is flawless."

"Ever heard of artistic licence?"

"Ever heard of realism? This is supposed to be a diary project you know. As in REAL life."

"GOSH! Could you be anymore anti-productive? You're restricting my imagination"

"R-E-A-L-I-S-M. That's what we're supposed to be doing. No-"

Before Lilly could finish, Joan began hitting Lillyover the head repetitively with her ruler. Lilly covered, using her exercise book as a sheild.

"GIRLS!" The shocked and clearly appalled voice penetrated through Joan's yells of "En garde", "Touché" and "Fight me like a man!"

"Err…yes Miss." Joan beamed up at Mrs Thornton, hoping to avoid the inevitable telling off.

"Could you please do me the great honour of explaining to me how what you are doing is at all relevant to your English project?"

Joan, being a well-practiced liar, was very willing to comply.

"Well you see Miss, we are writing from the point of view of a Marquis during the regency period. And during this diary entry he challenges his sworn enemy the Viscount of Nottingham to a duel. Lilly and I were simply acting it out in order to better understand the situation." Joan spoke smoothly without pause, meeting Mrs Thornton's gaze so as not to arose suspicion.

"Can I read this diary entry? Which, may I remind you, is supposed to be an autobiography."

"Well you see, I was-" Joan was interrupted before she could think up another elaborate excuse.

"I thought as much. Joan, I want the diary to be based upon your day-to-day events. Not your fantasies. And Lilly, get back to your own work. Joan distracts herself enough without you getting involved." Mrs Thornton gave them both a fleeting look of disapproval before returning to her position at the front of the classroom behind a desk, were she continued to mark homework returned to her that morning.

"Sorry Miss." Lilly and Joan mumbled in unison before returning back to their work. The classroom was once again quiet except for the scratching of pen on paper.

Joan viciously ripped out her the page with her writing efforts so far with a sigh, accepting the inescapable. She would have to write about her dreary unexciting life without any embellishment of any kind. In other words, her diary entry would be tediously accurate.

_My name is Joan. My life is of no interest what so ever. I am most certain that I was born in the wrong century. I am so unsuited to the drudgery that is the 21st Century. Why couldn't I have been born in the Victorian times? Or the roman times? Or at the very last pirate times? There is no scope for the imagination here at all. _

_Here are the brutal and heartlessly cold facts. I have dull grey eyes. My hair is a mousey brown colour. It refuses to be curled in any way shape or form and instead remains limply straight. And yes Fate has been so brutal as to deal me several spots around the nose and on my chin. The true cause of the spots is undoubtedly the stress imposed on me as a result St. Catherine of Alexandria's Roman Catholic High School ._

The bell rang signalling the end of lesson. Everyone remained seated, knowing Mrs Thornton would simply make them sit down again if they stood up.

"Class, you can pack up and go to your next lessons now. But don't forget to complete a diary entry for every day of this week. I will be taking them in for marking a week today." Mrs Thornton returned to marking whilst one by one the class filed out of the room. Unsurprisingly, Joan and Lilly were the last ones to leave.

"Hurry up now. The next class are waiting to come in." Mrs Thornton's words seemed to have their desired effect, as Joan and Lilly were soon hurrying out of the classroom whilst talking to one another animatedly.

CHAPTER 2

"I fail to see how Mr McArdle is in any attractive to the female sex…" Joan was glaring at the love sick Lilly with one eyebrow raised. "Even his name is unromantic. And he teaches science!"

"You know I've always enjoyed science… Especially since Alan has started teaching." Lilly was gazing dreamily off into the distance, clutching her science books protectively to her chest.

"Lilly really! Falling in love for a science teacher called Alan McArdle. I really did expect better from you." Joan shook her head in disgust.

"Come on Joan." Lilly grabbed Joan by the arm and began pulling her down the hallway."We don't want to keep Alan waiting."

"Of course not. I wouldn't want precious Alan McArdle telling off one of his many adoring fans." Despite her sarcasm, Joan quickened her pace and within a matter of minutes they had reached the C3, where their science lesson always took place. The rest of the students had already taken out their books and the class, especially many of the girls, were listening avidly to the young science teacher.

Mr McArdle was in his early twenties, quite tall, with black hair. In the many of the girls view, he was undeniably good looking. The boys in the class enjoyed Mr McArdle's lessons mainly because he let them blow stuff up. The only person who didn't seem to enjoy his lessons was Joan, who apart from wholly detesting science, resented greatly the boy/girl seating plan.

Most girls would have thanked their lucky stars for getting to sit next to Alexander Jensen. But Joan, on the other, had cursed the heavens for having been placed next to her sworn enemy. Joan had disliked him almost instantaneously from the first day she had met him after a most memorable...incident.

Lifting her closed eyes to the heavens, Joan prayed fervently that Alec had been struck down by some terrible disease or had moved to Alaska. Unfortunately, when she opened her eyes once more Alec was indeed sitting in his usual seat next to her on their desk at the back of the classroom. Why they were forced to share desks was beyond Joan's comprehension and she had already on several occasions volunteered to sit on the floor instead.

Sighing with unnecessary loudness, Joan threw herself down into her assigned seat and began to take out her science books from her bag. She flung each book in turn violently onto the desk, hoping to make it obvious that friendly conversation was not on the menu. Alec, naturally, instead viewed this as a perfect opportunity to see how quickly he could irritate Joan to the point of violence. As per usual, this did not take very long.

"How are things going Little Miss Sunshine?" To Alec's delight, Joan simply snarled back in reply. It was then he could tell that this lesson, at the very least, was going to be eventful.

"I know just the thing to cheer you up. It's a song you might have heard of. It's called "Axel F" by Crazy Frog." For Alec, things seemed to just get better. Joan actually slumped forward with her head on the desk, no longer attempting to give the pretence of listening to Mr McArdle describing how the Periodic Table is organised.

"A ring ding ding ding d-ding baa aramba baa baa barooumba…" Alec was only singing quietly, so as not to draw the attention of Mr McArdle, but the students on the surrounding desks were able to hear him. As a result, several people in the class were now giggling.

"Please…just leave me alone." Joan hissed aggressively, lifting her head off the desk momentarily so as to be able to glare at Alec. To Joan's disappointment and the classes' amusement, Alec continued with increasing vigour.

"To the chorus! A ring ding ding ding ding. A Ring Ding Ding Dingdemgdemg!" Alec was now tapping his foot and nodding his head in time to the music.

"Alec I am warning you-" Joan's threat had absolutely no affect on Alec at all. Apart from perhaps to make him sing a bit louder.

"A ring ding ding ding ding!" The whole class had turned around to look at Alec now. Mr McArdle had, fortunately for Alec, left the classroom in order to fetch a projector.

"ALEC! If you make one more ding!" Joan was yelling now through gritted teeth whilst clenching her hands in frustration.

There was a tense pause. No one made a sound. That is until Alec said very quietly, "Ring ding!" Before Alec could say another word, Joan had picked up her science books and flung them at his head.

"JOAN REYNOLDS!" It was at this untimely point that Mr McArdle entered the room, struggling to carry a large projector. "What on earth do you think you're doing?"

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(P.S. Crazy Frog "Alex F" is just about the most annoying song in the world. In case you didnt know it's a frog making strange noises. It may seem funny the first time you hear it but after the 20th you want to cut off your own ears Van Goph style.) 

Please review! And thanks for reviewing. All comments and constructive criticism greatly appreciated.


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